Entah apa yang membelenggu diriku kini...

Konflik diri ku tentang kareer, tentang anak2 dan sebagainya
Tak sanggup ku hadapi lagi..tolong

weekend yang best namun buat saya rasa tak sedap badan

menjelang hari jumaat, saya rasa seronok sekali. mana taknya saya dapat berjumpa suami tercinta... semenjak kahwin, inilah rutin harian saya.... hujung ni rumah saya ada tetamu yang paling istimewa, mak, ayah dan mak ngah. kebetulan, mereka lama skit di bangi sebab ada majlis di putrajaya pada hari sabtu dan ahad. bersyukur sangat dapat spend masa lama skit ngan anak tersayang ika... saya ikut mereka konvoi raya pada hari sabtu. namun saya rasa mabuk sangat o d way jalan raya tu... tak taula kenapa..

Impian SAYA part II

Buat abang yang merupakan pembaca setia blog ni.
Saya nak abang bimbing dan bantu saya kembali ke pangkal jalan... I mean membantu saya supaya berpegang teguh dengan ajaran dan panduan yang dipraktikkan dalam Islam.Saya kerap mempertikaikan segala qada' dan qadar Illahi... adakah masih terbuka pintu taubat buatku...Ya Allah, kau berikanla peluang untukku memperbaiki segala kesilapan yang saya lakukan selama ini.Janganla kau terus gelapkan hati ku ini....berikan la aku kekuatan untuk ku hadapi semua ini.

Impian SAYA

hari ni rasa tak ada mood nak speakinglak..

bicara soal hati ni kekadang susah nak translate in BI...

so BM pun ok ma...

Dah lama saya tak muhasabah diri saya ni... bukan nak salahkan anak2... tapi saya masih dalam proses menyesuaikan diri sebagai isteri dan ibu lagi...maka masa saya masih lagi tak well organized.. tambah lagi saya dan suami dok berjauhan...saya memang tak bermotivasi langsung...

APA yang berkecamuk dalam hati saya ni?

banyak sangat.. ANTARANYA......

amalan solat dan puasa sunat banyak ditinggalkan. kekadang amalan yang wajib pun selalu ditinggalkan..

hati saya langsung rasa tak tenang....kenapa ye..

dah lama sangat tak amalkan surah yassin dan solat dhuha setiap pagi..

inikan plak solat subuh pukul 6 pagi

selalu sangat qada'...

saya rasa tak bermotivasi langsung...

saya malas sangat nak bangun....

apa yang nak jadi pada saya ni...

dah lama sangat tak memohon doa pada Allah... lepas solat terus pegang anak

saya tak salahkan anak...

silap saya sendiri

saya takut sangat saya terus lalai dengan urusan duniawi sampai langsung meninggalkan urusan akhirat...

inikah ujian bagi saya...

saya rasa tak mampu menghadapinya seorang diri lagi....

"Allah tidak membebani seseorang melainkan sesuai dengan kesanggupannya. Ia mendapat pahala (dari kebajikan) yang diusahakannya dan ia mendapat siksa (dari kejahatan) yang dikerjakannya. (Mereka berdo'a): "Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau hukum kami jika kami lupa atau kami tersalah. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau bebankan kepada kami beban yang berat sebagaimana Engkau bebankan kepada orang-orang sebelum kami. Ya Tuhan kami, janganlah Engkau pikulkan kepada kami apa yang tak sanggup kami memikulnya. Beri ma'aflah kami; ampunilah kami; dan rahmatilah kami. Engkaulah Penolong kami, maka tolonglah kami terhadap kaum yang kafir."(al-baqarah:286)

I am still in love with my hubby part I

Tidak perlu mencari teman secantik Balqis jika diri tidak seindah Sulaiman..
Mengapa mengharap teman setampan Yusuf jika kasih tidak setulus Zulaikha..
Tidak perlu diri menjadi seteguh Ibrahim jika diri tidak sekuat Hajar..
Mengapa diharap teman hidup seistimewa Khadijah jika diri tidak sesempurna Rasulullah.

Each of these words above really touched me.... I don't know why.... i am really touched by these words...Maybe, after reading these words, i am realized that how cruel i am to my hubby.......After 2 years i've been married, every week must be something that i am not satisfied with my husband... i do love him....since when i can not remember....that's only question that i still can not answer it yet till now....but the things that i notice... i love to write a letter to him when i was in matriculation college...i love to wait a letter from him.....on that time i still deny that i'm in love with him...maybe on that time i am "syok sendiri" with this guy...called Aziehan....He has a very good looking....like Chinese mata sepet ma... but the reality that i've to face that he do not like or interested on me....maybe when we meet, we feel like malu2.....i only like him because he has physical attraction...nothing more than that...we only communicate only twice.. how can we know that he like me or i feel in love with him... but one thing that i notice.. when i heard his voice...i tend to find bad attitude of him... maybe the way that orang JAWA talk, i did not like so much... eventhough i am jawa from i born till now....he222 the moral is we are difficult to find a perfect soulmate of ours.

I perform solat Istikharah a week to know the perfect guy for me and to find a soulmate of mine...but i keep on dreamt that my hubby is the one...And one more sign that i notice.. when we arrange for a date at KLCC, i felt so eager to meet him... I bought very pretty blouse and tudung just to look beautiful on that day that i meet him.... maybe ... he is the perfect guy for me....

oral Ulcer.. what should i know about that...

Here, i share some information about mouth ulcer.. hopefully it really useful and help you to cope the problem..

An oral ulcer is the name for the appearance of an open sore inside the mouth caused by a break in the mucous membrane or the epithelium on the lips or surrounding the mouth. The types of oral ulcers are diverse, with a multitude of associated causes including: physical or chemical trauma, infection from microorganisms, medical conditions or medications, cancerous and nonspecific processes. Once formed, the ulcer may be maintained by inflammation and/or secondary infection. Two common oral ulcer types are aphthous ulcers (canker sores) and cold sores (aka fever blisters)

CAUSES

There are many processes which can lead to ulceration of the oral tissues. In some cases they are caused by an overreaction by the body's own immune system. Factors that appear to provoke them include stress, illness and injury from accidental biting. Ulcers also can be caused by bug bites and animal bites. Oral ulcers are also a common result of ceasing cigarette smoking or tobacco chewing, affecting about two out of five quitters.

Trauma
Minor physical injuries
Trauma to the mouth is a common cause of oral ulcers. A sharp edge of a tooth, accidental biting (this can be particularly common with sharp canine teeth, or Wisdom teeth), sharp, abrasive, or excessively salty food, poorly fitting dentures, dental braces or trauma from a toothbrush may injure the mucosal lining of the mouth resulting in an ulcer. These ulcers usually heal at a moderate speed if the source of the injury is removed (for example, if poorly fitting dentures are removed or replaced).
It is also common for these ulcers to occur after dental work, when incidental abrasions to the soft tissues of the mouth are common. A dentist can apply a protective layer of petroleum jelly before carrying out dental work in order to minimize the number of incidental injuries to the soft mucosa tissues.

Chemical injuries
Chemicals such as aspirin or alcohol that are held or that come in contact with the oral mucosa may cause tissues to become necrotic and slough off creating an ulcerated surface. Sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS), one of the main ingredients in most toothpastes, has been implicated in increased incidence of oral ulcers.

Infection
Viral, fungal and bacterial processes can lead to oral ulceration. One way to contract pathogenic oral ulcerations is to touch your chapped lips without having washed your hands first.

Viral
The most common is Herpes simplex virus which causes recurrent herpetiform ulcerations preceded by usually painful multiple vesicles which burst. Herpes Zoster (shingles), Varicella Zoster (chicken pox), Coxsackie A virus and its associated subtype presentations, are some of the other viral processes that can lead to oral ulceration. HIV creates immunodeficiencies which allow opportunistic infections or neoplasms to proliferate.

Bacterial
Bacterial processes leading to ulceration can be caused by Mycobacterium tuberculosis (tuberculosis) and Treponema pallidum (syphilis).
Opportunistic activity by combinations of otherwise normal bacterial flora, such as aerobic streptococci, Neisseria, Actinomyces, spirochetes, and Bacteroides species can prolong the ulcerative process.
Fungal
Coccidioides immitis (valley fever), Cryptococcus neoformans (cryptococcosis), Blastomyces dermatitidis ("North American Blastomycosis") are some of the fungal processes causing oral ulceration

Protozoans
Entamoeba histolytica, a parasitic protozoan is sometimes known to cause mouth ulcers through formation of cysts.

Immune system
Many researchers view the causes of aphthous ulcers as a common end product of many different disease processes, each of which is mediated by the immune system.
Aphthous ulcers are thought to form when the body becomes aware of and attacks chemicals which it does not recognize.
Immunodeficiency
Repeat episodes of mouth ulcers can be indicative of an immunodeficiency, signaling low levels of immunoglobulin in the oral mucous membranes. Chemotherapy, HIV, and mononucleosis are all causes of immunodeficiency with which oral ulcers become a common manifestation.
Autoimmunity
Autoimmunity is also a cause of oral ulceration. Mucous membrane pemphigoid, an autoimmune reaction to the epithelial basement membrane, causes desquamation/ulceration of the oral mucosa.

Allergy
Contact with allergens such as almagam can lead to ulcerations of the mucosa.

Dietary
Vitamin C deficiencies may lead to scurvy which impairs wound healing, which can contribute to ulcer formation. Similarly deficiencies in vitamin B12, zinc have been linked to oral ulceration.
A common cause of ulcers is Coeliac disease, in which case consumption of wheat, rye, or barley can result in chronic oral ulcers. If gluten sensitivity is the cause, prevention means following a gluten-free diet by avoiding most breads, pastas, baked goods, beers etc. and substituting gluten-free varieties where available. Artificial sugars, such as those found in diet cola and sugarless chewing gum, have been reported as causes of oral ulcers as well.
Flovent
Use of flovent without rinsing the mouth out afterwards may cause oral ulcers.
Cancer
Oral cancers can lead to ulceration as the center of the lesion loses blood supply and necroses. Squamous cell carcinoma is just one of medical conditions associated with mouth ulcers
The following medical conditions are associated with mouth ulcers:
Behçet's disease
Bullous pemphigoid
Celiac disease (gluten sensitivity)
Crohn's disease
Gingivostomatitis
Leukoplakia
oral lichen planus
Lupus erythematosus
Neutropenia
Oral thrush

Oral ulcer, medical leave, flu...antibiotic, throat inflammation

what an assumption day....

Last night i went to my sister's house...i really felt exhausted after returned back from work.. i know the possible cause.. after helping my husband prepared his clothes to work, i really can't sleep.. how can i go to work if ur vacation bag fullfilled ur dining room.. what a messy house. i really not m otivated to go to work today..... since my parents are here to beraya in KL, i felt ashamed to them. Slowly i finished to tidy just before i going to work at 9 o'clock in the morning...

At my sister's house, my baby showed a sign that he is sleepy. Usually, after breastfeed him, he can sleep well without any nuisance. Just because of my sister's house is quit noisy from mine, adam harith always woke up keep on crying.. i turn to be as lion to my daughter and her cousins just because of that.. finally at 12 o'clock , we finally sleep without disruption. At 6.45 oclock in the morning, my sister woke me up . but i really felt that my head is too heavy, my throat is so painful, and my oral ulser getting terrible, i going back to home. after prepared myself going to work, i told my brother to send me to clinic first.. I've told the symptoms that i have to the doctor, they diagnosed me that i had bacterial infection. i need to take antibiotic as the medication and give me medical leave to rest. After that, i bought adam's milk and brought it the nursery.. when i arrived there, i saw my son had been left lonely and as i had mom's instinct, i;ve decided to bring him back.. as a result, i did not have enough rest to my medical leave... hopefully i getting my own reward for that... amin.....

Organizing ur time

1. Recognize the Importance of Time.
You may say that this is the main reason why I am reading this; it is because I am aware how important time is in my life. But are you really aware? How many times during the day have you postponed you chores or deferred making a decision? You spend time in thinking what should be done today but do you do it? Know how important time is in your life and do something about it. Avoid procrastination and act now.
2. Identify the reasons why you waste your time.
It may be because you have poor habits or you are trying to do too much and the tasks that you have are not proportional to your available time. Or you do not simply know your priorities.
Sometimes being a perfectionist, waste your time too or doing something without the necessary skills to do the task is also a misuse of this invaluable resource. Even the simple facts of life like commuting or attending functions are time consuming.
Make a list of the reasons why you waste your time and do something about it. Remember, be honest when making your list.
3. Work out a strategy of how to use your time effectively.
This is just a continuation of the previous number. When you have identified the reasons, you can now devise the solutions that will work for you. It can be having a planner or a to-do list. It may also be eliminating some habits or a change of lifestyle. What ever it is, always remember that there is no generic tool that has a 100 per cent rate. Your strategy has to be tailor-made to suit your personality, lifestyle and your environment. Make use of the available resources like technology (PDA, PC organizers, etc.) and learn some new habits to make your solution successful.
4. Be aware of our responsibilities and objectives.
This can be summed up in one word - PRIORITIZE.
5. Ask for Help
When you have made you list and you have identified your priorities and objectives in life, you can now enlist other people's help. Get your family and friends involve, hey even the kids can help. Delegate your other tasks so you can concentrate on your priorities without worrying about the little things like watering the plants, feeding the dog, or even paying the utilities. You will be amazed how helpful some extra hands can be in your day.
The points that I have raised are simple reminders on how we can effectively organize our time and our life. You do not need experts to tell you what your priorities are. Even their courses and books will not be effective unless you pin point the reasons why you find yourself running out of time. What time is it? It is time to act and get yourself organized.

Today's lesson....

Maybe we can take a seat or sacrifice our time just to think and to muhasabah ourselves read after we read this....
"You know Allah, yet you do not obey Him.
You recite the Qur'an, yet you do not act according to it.
You know Shaitan, yet you have agreed with him.
You proclaim you love the Messenger of Allah (saw), yet you abandon his sunnah.
You proclaim your love for Paradise, yet you do not act to gain it.
You proclaim your fear for the Fire, yet you do not prevent yourselves from sins.
You say, 'Indeed death is true', yet you have not prepared for it.
You busy yourselves with finding faults with others, yet you do not look at your own faults.
You eat that which Allah has provided for you, yet you do not thank Him.
You bury your dead, yet you do not take a lesson from it."
(Ibn Rajab, Khusoo fis-Salat, p.62)

Has Islam given you peace in your lives and inside yourself

My own opinion from my own experinence.

Islam has given me peace and contentment and a feeling of total freedom from worldly matters. As a Muslim I believe that Allah swt knows me better than I know myself, He is my creator so He knows what is best for me. By abiding by His rules and being totally dependent on Him I can let go of any requirements of today’s society and worldly pressures. If I am a total slave to Him then I am a slave to no one else. Knowing that I can completely rely on Him gives me the greatest sense of peace and comfort.

Islam is a complete way of life, it determines how we eat, how we sleep, how we do business, how we lead and every other aspect of our life. In every aspect there is wisdom, which we may or may not fully understand. He understands our needs and gives us the perfect solutions, after all, who else but the Creator will know what is best for us. Many times in my life, where I have reached a dead end, and as I prayed for Him to guide me, Allah swt has opened ways for me that I could not have imagined. I feel at peace with His decisions for me and I feel peace in His worship.Having said all that, I have not reached a point where I fully submit to my Creator but that is my ultimate aim and purpose of my life inshAllah. I struggle in my journey and I am often distracted from my purpose but with ever struggle and every test I hope inshAllah that I reach that much closer to Allah swt. I truly believe that anyone out there who believes in one God and sincerely asks for guidance will be guided to the path of peace, inshAllah.

SOLAT SUNAT HAJAT

Imam Ahmad meriwayatkan dengan sanad shahih dari Abu Dardak bahawa Nabi saw bersabda: "Barangsiapa berwudhuk dan menyempurnakannya, kemudian bersembahyang dua rakaat dengan sempurna, maka dia diberi Allah apa saja yang diminta baik cepat ataupun lambat."

NIAT SOLAT HAJAT

Sahaja aku sembahyang sunnat hajat dua rakaat kerana Allah Ta'ala

Selepas membaca al-Fatihah, dalam rakaat pertama hendaklah dibaca Ayat Qursi sementara pada rakaat kedua pula dibaca Surah Al-Ikhlas.
Apabila selesai sahaja solat, terus sujud kepada Allah dan membaca tasbih ini... kemudian bacalah doa @ mintalah apa yang kita hajatkan.

"Maha Suci Allah yang bersifat dengan kemuliaan dan Dia berfirman dengannya. Maha Suci Allah yang mempunyai sifat ketinggian dan menjadi mulia dengannya. Maha Suci Allah yang meliputi ilmuNya segala sesuatu, Maha Suci Allah yang tidak ditasbih melainNya. Maha Suci Allah yang mempunyai pemberian dan kelebihan. Maha Suci Allah yang mempunyai kebesaran dan kemuliaan. Maha Suci Allah yang mempunyai pemberian dan nikmat. Aku memohon RahmatMu dari kitabMu dan dengan namaMu yang mulia dan kehormatanMu yang tinggi dan kalimat-kalimatMu yang sempurna yang tidak dapat diatasi oleh sebarang kebaikan dan kejahatan bahawa Engkau Selawat dan salam kepada Nabi Muhammad SAW dan segala keluarganya.

My engagement day

the day that i was engaged to my hubby... this was the first time i wore songket kebaya.... i really like it.. it helps me to look alike "Gadis Melayu" My first attemption to fully make up my face.. it really make my face different....Either more beautiful or not natural... it seems not like my face.

Wahh! I can make my own choc moist cake- choc cake mania

What happened during raya festive this year?

I can't believe it... For 5 years back, i've been struggled to find the best recipe for my choc moist cake... So u must can guess how many attemption have done by me to bake my best choc moist cake. even the taste is not simillar as the cake sold by Secret Recipe..i think.... i still can remember how the taste of my first choc moist cake that i ever been taste. since secondary school . 10 years back.. it was ordered by my mother from her friend... i really like it.. and i start to find the recipe since i was in first year taking my graduate course.. so here i practice until it was perfect and alhamdulillah i shared my recipe with my sis in law... hopefully she can bake the cake well today..and today i feel i want to bake it for my family.......hopefully i can ....i have enough time to bake it

Stroke attack

I just want to share some information about stroke attack. a few days ago, my aunt ( my father's sister) had died because of second stroke attack.. it really touch my heart and remind me to always take care of my health and my daily diet since my blood cholesterol level is high and bad to know my high density cholesterol is low... I really have to beware about my food intake and i have to consistent with my routine of life 15 minutes walking without stop....and consistent with ur vegetable , fruit and drinks a lot of lukewarm water..and reduce ur stress level....this is the tough part that i can't consistent as long as i am always think small matter in my life deeply until pressure me. sometimes this habit prevent u to be an optimistic and always make me not believe in myself..

While you may be aware that heart disease can lead to heart attack, you may not be aware that heart disease also increases your risk of stroke. In fact, the same things that increase your risk of heart attack also increase your risk of stroke. Some risk factors that can lead to heart attack, high bad cholesterol (LDL), low good cholesterol (HDL), high blood pressure, being overweight, smoking and diabetes.

How a Heart Attack Happens

Your blood carries oxygen and nutrients to your heart muscle to help your heart function properly. A heart attack happens when this blood flow to the heart is blocked. Three steps occur to cause a heart attack:

1. Over time, cholesterol and other substances can build up in the wall of the arteries in your heart, narrowing them. This build up is called plaque.


2. A piece of plaque can break off, blocking the flow of blood to your heart and cutting off the oxygen and nutrients your heart needs.


3. When the blood flow is blocked completely, you have a heart attack and the part of your heart muscle affected can be severely damaged or die.


4. Many people who have a heart attack recover, but it takes time and a commitment to a heart-healthy lifestyle
   

How a Stroke Happens

The same process of plaque buildup in the arteries that can lead to heart attack can also lead to stroke. Just as the arteries in the heart can become blocked by the buildup of cholesterol and other substances, the arteries in and leading to the brain can also become affected by plaque build up. When this plaque breaks off and forms a clot that obstructs the flow of blood to the brain, a stroke can occur.1 This type of stroke is called an ischemic stroke and accounts for about 83 percent of all strokes

When you have a stroke, vital areas of your brain do not receive the oxygen and nutrients they need to function properly. This can lead to permanent damage to the areas of the brain affected. In turn, the body functions controlled by the injured parts of the brain will not work properly. This is why stroke can be so disabling.
Depending on the part of brain affected, stroke can cause:

• Paralysis


• Walking problems


• Vision problems


• Problems with speech and language
• Memory loss
• Loss of control of bodily functions
• Inability to care for oneself properly
• Behavior and personality changes
  

While a full-fledged stroke can occur with no warning, many people with blocked arteries experience small strokes, called transient ischemic attacks (TIAs). Symptoms can include:

• Sudden numbness or weakness in the face, arm, or leg, especially on one side of the body
• Sudden confusion or difficulty in talking or understanding speech
• Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
• Sudden difficulty with walking, dizziness, or loss of balance and coordination
  TIAs occur when a clot forms in the brain, causing symptoms, but then resolves itself before causing major damage. Even though symptoms disappear quickly, TIAs are a warning sign that you are at risk of a major stroke. If you have a TIA, you should take action immediately to prevent a full-blown stroke.

• Take steps to manage your risk factors for heart disease and stroke, including getting all your cholesterol numbers to healthy levels.
  
• Know the Signs of Stroke
  
  Sudden numbness or weakness of the face, arm or leg, especially on one side of the body
  Sudden confusion, trouble speaking or understanding
  Sudden trouble seeing in one or both eyes
  Sudden trouble walking, dizziness, loss of balance or coordination
  Sudden, severe headache with no known cause

di mana dia buah hati saya

hai everyone.... at last..........

i have my own blog.. i really can believe it.. my first attemption since i've been busy as a daughter, wife and mum lately...after being a mum, i realize how precious my time is...u will appreciate every second of ur time with your new life.... taking car eur son, cooking.. busy settling ur house work that will never end..

me and my hubby had been living apart since 2 years ago..but alhamdulillah my husband never feel bored to travel every weekend to visit me and my son..

Marriage life is quite tough for me. Being an independent wife and mom is not easy as ABC... really need our sacrifice and patience... And really teach us to not easily give up with ur own fate , but thanks to God for give us strength and passionate until we believe that " langit tak selalunya mendung, pasti akan cerah juga". We always try to find way that we can live together..any chances we must try...believe in yourself....Hopefully our dreams will really happen and cheer my life again